I live in a constant state of worry. I worry about my day, my future, and everything in between. I tend to overthink and obsess about how to devise plans of action. I like to have things "figured out," and sometimes, I tell myself that worrying about them helps with this.
While worrying can occasionally be beneficial, because it pushes us to prepare and plan, it can also be draining. When you’re always worried about everything, you may start doubting yourself about basic decisions and stop looking forward to what's ahead.
Thinking about this more, I've been like this for as long as I can remember. I grew up with a lot of uncertainty and lack of control. From having to move a lot and money issues, my life felt very reactive.
Now that I’m older, I realize that having a sense of control and predictability is comforting. Worrying about something gives me that illusion, that sense of "I got this" as long as I worry about all the potential outcomes. But as we know in life, you can worry about everything and still face the unexpected. Or things can go exactly the way you wanted, leaving you frustrated about wasting all that time worrying.
See, I know this but I still worry. But, the good news is that I’m trying to manage my worries better. The big things that help bring me some peace are:
Writing my thoughts down on paper
Focusing on what I can control that day
Getting outside for walks even for a few minutes
Being open about how I'm feeling in the moment
Many of us get stuck inside our heads and feel alone in our worries, but more often than not, we’re all going through something similar. It’s important to talk about and normalize that it’s just a part of life.
And even on the days when I can’t control my worries as much as I’d like to, I remind myself that’s okay too.
Thanks for reading,
Max
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Just wanted to share a meditation that helps me when I'm worried and need to be reminded I can't control everything. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EO1ZNpJF4v4
Quoting Mark Manson's theory of Self-Improvement (and his expletives):
"Self-improvement is about prioritizing better values, choosing better things to give a f*ck about. Because when you give better f*cks you get better problems. And when you get better problems, you get a better life."
I just finished his book and it really helped me think about what I care to worry about because like you, I worry about a lot of things, a lot of the time. By reframing my worries as values, it's a little bit easier to be more deliberate about the things I choose to spend my time worrying about.