Brilliant as usual, Max! Thank for sharing. I've found myself enjoying the "ride" a lot more these days. I still have goals, but I am not being as strict as I used to be if that makes sense.
The goal posts will always move if we don’t put a stop to it ourselves! When I got my first job that paid me $100k, I felt RICH, like RICH RICH. And every job after that has been more more more… but at what cost? I certainly wasn’t happier making all that money (though I thought I was, because how can you be sad on Hawaiian vacations 😂). I need to be constantly reminded that I live a life that Past Amanda could only dream of.
It’s human to want more though, and I’m glad you chose to be vulnerable with us and share that you too have these feelings and you’re not a robot!
“I just need to stop treating a really good life like a problem to solve” hit me hard. I’ve had multiple moments recently where I catch myself pining, running the numbers, trying on different scenarios in my head—only to stop myself and say, “There’s nothing to solve right now.” Yes, there are things I want, but right now I’m here, and here is good. Be here. Be present. The future will follow!!
Max, 1. I think you're cool AF. 2. I resonate with this so heavily. Never thinking your achievements are enough - always focusing on the next. It starts to feel like a hamster wheel after a while - be proud that you noticed it occurring within yourself.
I relate to all of this. I’m in a very different phase in my life (turning 57 in August) and one of the best parts of being this age is that the chasing has definitely softened. The impulse isn’t as strong and I catch it sooner. But it’s still there.
How much of my life, this precious life, have I spent focused on the next goal or what isn’t here yet!
It’s such a dance, holding what is with reverence and gratitude AND being a growth seeking human!
This is so true Max. At the same time, I think the chase is part of the game of life. It keeps things exciting as long as it doesn’t wear you down. You’re so talented. I think it’s good to have a chip on your shoulder. Stay in it. Happy to help and connect 1 on 1 if useful for you.
I like how you wrote out some of your accomplishments. It’s important to remind ourselves of those. If you never did another thing, just know it’s already impressive!
Cannot tell you how much I relate to this. I also catch myself in this comparison trap often. And yes, the goalpost keeps moving forward any time I hit a new milestone. My therapist says I'm like a donkey with the carrot on a stick, always after something that is in front of me but never stopping to appreciate what I have XD I recently started (under her suggestion) using a journal to write what I am grateful for each day. I know it's cliche, but it's been such a game changer! Once you stop and smell the roses you really do put things into perspective. Seems like you're already starting to do that :)
Everything you write about, is something I feel so deeply. In this instance, I feel like this core notion of wanting to do more, achieve more, make more money…personally stems from not having financial security as a child of immigrant parents… for me.
Yesss! The unlearning and deconditioning is reeeal and so intentional. Even when we're not climbing the ladder, we've been trained to be ambitious means we have to keep wanting more. I'm glad you caught this and shared with us. I know it'll help others to pause and reflect on the goodness they've already brought, to be present. I know it's what I needed to hear right now 💜
I think this is something a lot of us struggle with, understandably so, when we see other people’s wins constantly flashing in our faces. it can be a roller coaster of emotions sometimes! I’ve also fixated on salary numbers in the past, and have realized that hitting a specific number would also not “fix my life” and i would probably just keep moving the goal post as well. loved reading this!
Brilliant as usual, Max! Thank for sharing. I've found myself enjoying the "ride" a lot more these days. I still have goals, but I am not being as strict as I used to be if that makes sense.
I’m going to be trying this too! 🙏🏼
The goal posts will always move if we don’t put a stop to it ourselves! When I got my first job that paid me $100k, I felt RICH, like RICH RICH. And every job after that has been more more more… but at what cost? I certainly wasn’t happier making all that money (though I thought I was, because how can you be sad on Hawaiian vacations 😂). I need to be constantly reminded that I live a life that Past Amanda could only dream of.
It’s human to want more though, and I’m glad you chose to be vulnerable with us and share that you too have these feelings and you’re not a robot!
Past Amanda is so proud of you!!
“I just need to stop treating a really good life like a problem to solve” hit me hard. I’ve had multiple moments recently where I catch myself pining, running the numbers, trying on different scenarios in my head—only to stop myself and say, “There’s nothing to solve right now.” Yes, there are things I want, but right now I’m here, and here is good. Be here. Be present. The future will follow!!
Amen to this!!
YOU'RE INSIDE MY BRAIN
TWINS!
Max, 1. I think you're cool AF. 2. I resonate with this so heavily. Never thinking your achievements are enough - always focusing on the next. It starts to feel like a hamster wheel after a while - be proud that you noticed it occurring within yourself.
you are cool AF too! Means a lot :)
This man is a poet god bless us lucky enough to know it
<3 learning from you
I relate to all of this. I’m in a very different phase in my life (turning 57 in August) and one of the best parts of being this age is that the chasing has definitely softened. The impulse isn’t as strong and I catch it sooner. But it’s still there.
How much of my life, this precious life, have I spent focused on the next goal or what isn’t here yet!
It’s such a dance, holding what is with reverence and gratitude AND being a growth seeking human!
Very proud of you for how you are navigating this!
Thank you 🥹
This is so true Max. At the same time, I think the chase is part of the game of life. It keeps things exciting as long as it doesn’t wear you down. You’re so talented. I think it’s good to have a chip on your shoulder. Stay in it. Happy to help and connect 1 on 1 if useful for you.
thank you Max! Appreciate you saying that and definitely will do! :)
I like how you wrote out some of your accomplishments. It’s important to remind ourselves of those. If you never did another thing, just know it’s already impressive!
Agreed! Appreciate you 🙏🏼
I can relate so deeply. Thanks for sharing!
❤️
Cannot tell you how much I relate to this. I also catch myself in this comparison trap often. And yes, the goalpost keeps moving forward any time I hit a new milestone. My therapist says I'm like a donkey with the carrot on a stick, always after something that is in front of me but never stopping to appreciate what I have XD I recently started (under her suggestion) using a journal to write what I am grateful for each day. I know it's cliche, but it's been such a game changer! Once you stop and smell the roses you really do put things into perspective. Seems like you're already starting to do that :)
Such a great practice to implement and thank you for sharing!
Everything you write about, is something I feel so deeply. In this instance, I feel like this core notion of wanting to do more, achieve more, make more money…personally stems from not having financial security as a child of immigrant parents… for me.
I feel much resonate a lot with your lived experiences too!
really needed this reminder today!
I’m very proud of you Skylar! It’s such a joy connecting with you here 🙏🏼
Yesss! The unlearning and deconditioning is reeeal and so intentional. Even when we're not climbing the ladder, we've been trained to be ambitious means we have to keep wanting more. I'm glad you caught this and shared with us. I know it'll help others to pause and reflect on the goodness they've already brought, to be present. I know it's what I needed to hear right now 💜
Really appreciate you sharing this and thank you for always being so supportive! Means so much
I think this is something a lot of us struggle with, understandably so, when we see other people’s wins constantly flashing in our faces. it can be a roller coaster of emotions sometimes! I’ve also fixated on salary numbers in the past, and have realized that hitting a specific number would also not “fix my life” and i would probably just keep moving the goal post as well. loved reading this!
AMEN! Thanks so much for saying this!