Embracing discomfort as a community manager

Lean into the discomfort, you might be surprised where it takes you

Mar 20, 2024

If you’re a community builder, then you already know that we play a big role in being an architect of connection and creating vibrant and inclusive spaces. However, every successful program that we help launch is often marked with discomfort, uncertainty, and vulnerability.

In this post, I explore how embracing discomfort can lead to great personal and career growth while also providing actionable tips for community managers to navigate the challenges we face.

Facing the unknown

Building a community often requires stepping into the unknown, whether it's initiating conversations with new members, organizing events, or navigating conflicts that inevitably arise. The key to unlocking new possibilities and opportunities for growth is being able to be comfortable in moments of uncertainty.

Some examples of this include:

Lead with curiosity: Approach the unknown with a sense of curiosity and openness. Building a community is rarely predictable because people aren’t predictable. Remember that new experiences often bring great learnings, so the next time you’re scared of the unknown, jump in!
Be flexible: Recognize that plans may change and unexpected obstacles may arise when stepping into the unknown. Allow yourself to pivot and adjust course as needed in response to evolving circumstances.
Reflect on the past wins: Remind yourself of times when you've successfully navigated the unknown in the past. Reflect on the skills and strengths that helped you overcome challenges and achieve your goals in the past and draw inspiration from these past wins.

Initiating Conversations

As Community Managers, we’re often in charge of initiating conversations between members of the community, and that can be daunting. While this might bring up discomfort, the key is to embrace this feeling because these conversations play a pivotal role in helping foster authentic connections.

To initiate conversations effectively:

Start small: Begin with low-pressure interactions, such as welcoming new members or leaving positive encouragement on member’s posts.
Ask open-ended questions: Encourage meaningful dialogue by asking open-ended questions that invite members to share their thoughts, experiences, and perspectives.

Organizing Events

Organizing events is a great way to bring community members together, but it can also be very time-consuming and stressful. When you embrace the discomfort in event planning, it allows us as community managers to create memorable experiences that help build connection and belonging.

To organize events successfully:

Collaborate with members: Seek input and support from community members, leveraging the different perspectives and resources of the community.
Impact first: Keep the purpose and goals of the event front and center. Always prioritize activities and experiences that align with the community’s values and mission.
Practice self-care: Remember that you can’t shine if you’re running on fumes. With all of the demands of event planning, always remember to set boundaries and seek help when you need it.

Navigating Conflict

Conflict is inevitable in any community, but how it is addressed can make all the difference in maintaining trust. By embracing discomfort in conflict resolution, you’re better able to see the bigger picture and transform challenges into opportunities for growth and learning.

To navigate conflict with more ease:

Foster open communication: Create a culture in the community of transparency and trust. Encourage members to voice their concerns and opinions openly and respectfully.
Find common ground: Focus on areas of agreement and shared values when addressing member conflicts. Make it a point to emphasize the importance of finding mutual solutions.
Start with empathy: Seek to understand the member’s perspectives and experiences with compassion and empathy. We all have a story to tell, so listen.

Leading by Example

I’ve been told this since a young kid that our actions speak louder than words. By embracing discomfort and leading by example, we can help inspire other members to step outside their comfort zones and contribute to the growth and sustainability of the community.

To lead by example:

Be yourself: Embrace vulnerability and authenticity in your interactions with others by showing that it's okay to be yourself. We’re all different and that is a good thing.
Show resilience: When you model resilience in the face of challenges and setbacks, you show the members that failure is not a final call but a stepping stone in growth.
Celebrate growth: Acknowledge and celebrate the efforts and achievements of the community members. The members play a huge role in the impact of the community, and they should be recognized for this.

Actively Learning & Listening

Depending on the community that you work in, you are going to have to know enough about your members such as what their industry is, what their pain points are, etc. You’re also going to need to keep your ear to the ground to see what your members are talking about and how you can continue to support them. By embracing discomfort in active learning and listening, you will really start to understand your members on a deeper level and be a guide in their journey.

To practice active learning and listening:

Be a researcher: You don’t need to know everything about your members, but you definitely should know enough to play an active role in curating discussions, events, etc. Take the time to learn more about your member’s industry and the latest trends so that you can provide a valuable member experience.
Be a sponge: When in doubt, keep an ear out. Your members often have a lot of discussions in the community, and these will often be a major hint into the type of resources, content, events, etc. that you should be creating. Also, for a further deep dive, it’s a good idea to keep an ear to the ground on spaces outside of your community (LinkedIn, podcasts, newsletters, Reddit threads, etc.) to see how you can tie these conversations together.
Take notes: One of the best things that you can do is take notes on what is happening inside of your community. Even if you’re not ready to take action on creating new content, or developing new programs, notes are your friend for sparking inspiration when the time comes.

Embracing discomfort is an essential skill for community managers who are seeking to create vibrant and inclusive spaces where members feel valued, supported, and empowered.

So the next time you feel a little tinge of discomfort when building a new program, etc. embrace it because it means that you’re growing.

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Thank you for reading,
Max